Are you wondering what is an Orgasmic Birth – or even how one is possible?
By Debra Pascali-Bonaro
Elizabeth Davis and I explain in our book “Orgasmic Birth: Your Guide to a Safe, Satisfying and Pleasurable Birth Experience” that the term orgasmic birth is broad enough to include those who describe birth as ecstatic, and specific enough to give voice to those who actually feel the contractions of orgasm and climax at the moment of delivery. Many of our interviewees spoke of astounding pressure and sensation in the vagina as birth approached, followed by a flood of release and emotion as the baby emerged. Whenever a woman can look back on these moments with joy, when the physical and emotional aspects of birth are fully experienced as pleasurable, we call this orgasmic birth.
My personal pleasurable birth experience started me on a path to give voice to the ways that women can find pleasure in birth. For many women, their birth experience/environment enhances fear, and makes it virtually impossible them to even imagine that they could find pleasure in birth.
So are you wondering how pleasure is possible when there is pain? One women wrote in a recent blog on Cosmopolitan.com “The pain of labor is not what most people think of when they think of pain from an injury, for example, and when you are allowed to be fully relaxed and in the trance of birth, the waves of contraction are uncomfortable, but not like this horrible pain.
Are you ready to transform your pain to power with pleasure? knowledge is power!”
Enjoy my TIPS for an Orgasmic Birth and share with me your favorites or other ways you have found pleasure in birth in the comments below.
1. Believe it to Achieve it!
First you must believe you can find pleasure, power and joy in childbirth. Your attitude is key to how you will come to your birth.
2. Tame your Fears
Fear is the elephant in the room. Share your fears with your partner, doula, educator, providers and/or friends- whomever will help you work through them. If you are able to release them, you will be able to come to your birth empowered and excited instead of fearful and worried.
Image: Dr. Eve Agee, and featured in Pain to Power
Surround yourself with those that believe in you and your birth wishes including your partner, doula, family and care providers. Discuss your birth wishes ahead of time with your care provider, partner and doula to ensure they will be fully supportive of your desires!
4. Safety, Privacy and Feeling Unobserved
We give birth with ease and pleasure when we feel we are in a safe and private environment, and that we are not being watched. The pressure we feel (and are not even conscious of) when we are being watched or feel unsafe can slow or stop the process of labor. Find a place to give birth that makes you feel safe and private, for some women this will be their home or birth center and for others this will be in a hospital. If you choose or need to give birth in a hospital, finding one that has a shower and/or birth tub and other options for comfort will support your feelings of safety and privacy.
5. Open to Pleasure
Be willing and open to find pleasure in birth using movement, comfort techniques, touch, water and love. Knowing that pleasurable birth is possible, and feeling open both physically and emotionally will help you to find your pleasure.
6. Let’s Talk about SEX
Bring your sexuality to birth: kissing, nipple stimulation, masturbation, vibrators – whatever turns you on! A woman’s vagina opens up to 2 inches and gets slippery, both of which will aid in bringing your baby down and gently easing your baby into the world. If you are sexual abuse survivor, or have discomfort with your own body or sexuality, pregnancy will be an opportunity to begin exploring and healing. (Learn more from Penny Simkin’s book “When Survivors Give Birth.”)
“Breast stimulation is especially effective in starting labor at term when it is combined with sexual intercourse. Unless your partner is an abysmally poor lover, this combination is by far the most enjoyable method of induction.” – Ina May Gaskin, Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth.
I would love to hear from you! How would you describe an Orgasmic Birth? Did you have an experience with an orgasmic birth? Share your tips to find comfort and pleasure in childbirth in the comments below.